Untitled

Trying not to fuck up

Something good

Yeah

Thats tough

Wanting to go too fast

Yeah

Thats rough

Well it seems I’ve come upon

A little bit of luck

Like a flash of lightning

We were both struck

While all the clouds were passing through

I seem to have found you

I can’t guarantee

That it will never rain

But when it does

I’ll be ready to take the blame

If indeed I misforcasted

That type of weather.

Lately with blue skies

Things haven’t ever been better

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As the walls come down

Like a convertible top

Driving on a highway

Where I never want to stop

The radio plays

You see I know this song

About how if it feels right

It can’t be wrong

The wind blows through your hair

You look beautiful

As I drive

A bug hits the windshield

And I’m glad that I’m alive

a

a

a

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Sometimes we’re going to have to

Stop for gas

Thinking its unbelievable

How quickly time passed

We’ll lose the maps

We’ll forget the directions

The only thing guiding us

Will be our recollections

Not the location

Not the weather

As long as

The both of us are together.

Costly Indecision

You spoke the words

You don’t know what you want

So now I’m searching

To find other haunts

You are what I want

Fast paced

But now slow

I think your only problem was

Never being able to say no

The truth didn’t begin

Until the fun stopped

No more flow

Now a dam

Blocked

 

 

Great sensations

I wonder if I’ll ever have again

We both know

You were more than just a friend

Idiocy in romance

Ignorance is bliss

All the trouble started

After we began to kiss

Feelings unstoppable and heavy

Like a freight train

A rushing of emotions

As it began to rain

So I’ll grab my umbrella

Unsure if you felt the same

I hate how this goes

They say only time will tell

Marks on my knees will fade

From where I tripped & fell.

 

Nobody Reads This Blog Anyway (aka I’m Deeper Than an Ocean)

Google has it right. Just google “What is the loneliest number” and google’s calculator will tell you the answer is 1.

My Analysis: True

Jacks Mannequin says it: “Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?”

My Analysis: What this truly means is that you can be surrounded by people, and feel like no one knows you. You are surrounded by other human beings and while they are “in your life” physically because of their presence in the room they aren’t living with you. Therefore, you are alone.  The fact of the matter is, everyone has a story, a life, and their own way. It is impossible to ever truly know everyone in the world, and so this means you are more than likely missing out on what some people might have to offer. We are lucky for the people we have in our lives, and in some instances unlucky for the people we do not have in our lives. To truly have someone, and not just to have someone to stop being alone, that is a true blessing. It is completely possible to be alone in a room that is completely full of people.

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The Beatles Say it

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“One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Yes is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know
one is the loneliest number even worst then two”

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My Analysis: 1 is 1, alone is alone, single is single. In the meantime, being with someone (not with in terms of a relationship sense, but perhaps sitting next to in a car or in a waiting room) can still be just as bad (although you can still be in a relationship and feel alone. Not like I’d know from experience, but social knowledge). When it says No is the saddest experience its talking about rejection, even if a member of the opposite sex looks at you a certain way, if an opportunity is missed or denied its not a very good feeling. Yes is the saddest experience means that even if someone says yes, even if you thought you wanted it at a time there could still be a feeling of emptiness after. Just like some No’s are worse than others, some Yes’ are better than others aswell. In terms of relationships I honestly know more about “No” or “missed opportunities” than the “Yes” in life at the moment. Thats probably surprising, since I’ll be 25 on April 12th 2010.

“Do you feel like a fish out of water?”

Honestly when I first decided to write this post, I only had the being alone thought in mind, but then this jumped out of me. I wanted to describe being alone in a crowded room, and thought of this feeling. So here we go:

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My Analysis: When you take a look at something you should consider all angles it could be looked at and all ways it could be interpreted. This is why pun’s are a fun form of joking, and why people often miss my jokes if they involve a play on words. What I want you to do is think about a fish tank thats “out of water” but I will have people who think of a fish washed up on the shore, a fish laying on the carpet of a living room, or perhaps a fish that someone just caught and is holding in there hand. Due to this, I will paint the picture. I want you to imagine a fish that you would have in a fishtank, no bigger than your index and middle finger when you put them together. Imagine that something happened and somehow the fish is now laying on the counter next to the fishtank it was once in. It is natural to assume that the fish is beginning to die due to lack of oxygen, but this is just semantics and not the important part of feelng like “a fish out of water”. The fish would be looking where it just came from (at least I would, if I was a fish) and wondering how it can get back to where it once was. This is like a fall from grace, and lets face it, nobody starts their life alone. We all start our lives in the fishtank, a small one as infants swimming alone, then a bigger one once we hit elementary school. It is then the choices we make in adolescence that determine the fish we swim with, and if we switch to an emptier tank or not. The chances are pretty good that those who had a nice group of friends through these years, namely highschool, at least have a few friends from this era who remain. It can be said then that those who did not do well in this area, do not have friends from this era and began to swim alone a long time ago. Therefore the fish is looking at all the other fish while he is out of the water, looking at lives that he is not a part of, while still knowing what the fish look like, and a few things about these fish. It could be as simple as their name, or a little about what they like, but it doesn’t mean he gets to swim with these fish and now hes stuck out of water just watching them.

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Random Shit / Summary:

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.In life you are one person, who starts out as knowing nothing about others. There is knowledge that you gain yourself with the help of the media, avenues like facebook, and then theres knowledge that others let you have about them willingly. In life you are alone, but sometimes other people will help you to not be alone. This help has pre-determined conditions, wether these people are related to you or unrelated, and is never permanent (thats why its help).

The early bird gets the worm, and the majority of life is based on first come first serve.

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Example: A girl you think is beautiful will meet other guy sbefore she meet you, and she might even make life altering choices with these guys. These choices can include serious relationships, marriage, or even kids.

You probably don’t stand a chance. You have to figure out what you want to involve yourself in, because life is a journey and involvement with people other than yourself always incorperates risk. If you are alone you risk nothing. If you try to get to know someone you risk something. People will think you are a fool, silly, and unattractive. They might even act attracted to you or impartial, but then not care to get to know you. This is known as “being nice’. Things can also go the other way — if you’re lucky.

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Moral of my story:  . . . Yet to be completely determined, decide for yourself.

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A few final notes:

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t just give up on life and find the exit.

Why did I write this? Almost everywhere I go it feels like two people are in a relationship, or two people are best of friends. Meanwhile, i’m solo.

The playlist while writing this was:

Jack’s Mannequin – Dark Blue (which I listened to twice)

Something Corporate – Konstantine

(after this point it was on random play, choosing from roughly 12,000 songs)

Blind Melon – No Rain

Keane – Everybody’s Changing

Spin Doctors – Two Princes

This Holiday Life – Tongue Tied

White Town – Your Woman

Armor For Sleep – Awkward Last Words

Dionne Farris – I Know

Augustana – Stars and Boulevards

Joan Osborne – One Of Us

Emma Roberts – This is Me

Tracy Champman – Give Me One Reason

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So I give myself one reason:

Its Easter Tommorrow.

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Gonna Die

 

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There was a time in my life

I couldn’t look at the sky

A time so dark

I couldn’t see any light

Then one day

You came and stopped all the pain

But now you’re in that place

I want to take you away

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I know the sun will get through

You’ve gotta let it reach you

Don’t waste your time

Cause we’re all gonna die

Cause we’re all gonna die

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Get out of your bed

And get your music on

Get out on the street

And get some living done

I think you’ll probably live

Beyond the end of the week

You’ve got enough time left

So come and spend it with me

I know the sun will get through

You’ve gotta let it reach you

Don’t waste your time

Cause we’re all gonna die

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I know that life is hurtful

A show with no rehearsel

So don’t waste your time

Don’t waste your time

Cause we’re all gonna die

We’re all gonna die

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DJing

I increasingly have a difficult time participating in anything without giving some serious thought as to why. Why do I like to DJ? What do I have in common with other people with the same passion? Why electro? The EDM community isn’t known for being especially contemplative or deep which is a shame given that I think that it really attracts personality types with a relatively high spiritual and intellectual sensitivity (not talking about candy kids). Anyway I thought to share some of what I’d been thinking about to see if it rings true with others. Music, I’ve always felt, is the perfect reflection of duality in the human condition as music forges together the emotion and excitement of chaos with the comfort and authority of an orderly structure. Electro in particular stretches these elements to their limits. In other words, electro counters the presence of high levels excitement- arguably some sexual proxy- with an equal attention to the order and predictability of that chaos. For this reason, I would go so far as to say that electro overwhelmingly attracts people who like to be in control. DJing is a reflection of that same need for control. People who have not yet begun to cultivate a rich inner life and suffer an expansion of consciousness may see an activity like DJing rather superficially with regards to the underlying motivations and they may be right. Do these motivations even really exist until we are aware of them? However, my other thought is that DJing may have the potential to serve as a release from what might ordinarily be a person’s strong aversion to what is perceived as overwhelming stimuli. This might seem counter intuitive given that a party is full of stimuli. Similar to the duality present in the music itself, the DJ feels the need for that stimuli and excitement but all within some measure of his control. As this need for control likely arises from areas of life in which there is little potential for control, there is something especially telling about the choice to control electronic music specifically given its simultaneous relation to order and chaos. Consider this: according to one study there are a higher proportion of geniuses who are death metal fans than any other genre they studied. Finally, what is a good DJ if not someone obsessed with the telos of creation. While I wouldn’t call a DJ an artist I definitely believe there are similar motivations. People who are highly sensitive feel as though they are most truly living when they are creating. But where does this need for constant creation come from? I’ll spare you the Freudian bullshit. I believe that in a sense, when we create something we create a small world of our own design. This prelapsarian moment is perpetually fleeting and drives the need for more and more. The psychology in this need to create is undoubtedly rooted in a kind of suffering but I am increasingly of the opinion that suffering is not the source of our downfall but of our growth and formation.

Megans Birthday!

Its your birthday
So I hope you party right
Drink what you want
And dance all night
Another year has gone by
A big one too
So I’ll tell the whole world
To watch out for you
We all know
That you’re becoming great
Tell the people at the party
That they better not hate
Or you and your girls
Will have to regulate
Tonights your night
All about having fun
You’re the birthday girl
So you’re number one
Now don’t be shy
Go on
Get to it
We’ll be playing Montel
Cause this is how we do it
No birthday of yours
Will ever be the same
This is my birthday rap
and Davids my name
Happy Birthday To You
On your way to fame.

 

 

Disco Radical Mix

This is for Gee Mix

Disco Radical

The top 107 songs of the decade.

                                                   1 Killers Mr. Brightside

2 Modest Mouse Float On

3 White Stripes Seven Nation Army

4 Muse Knights of Cydonia

5 Death Cab for Cutie I Will Follow You Into The Dark

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6 MGMT Kids

7 Kings of Leon Use Somebody

8 Coldplay Clocks

9 Franz Ferdinand Take Me Out

10 Silversun Pickups Lazy Eye

11 Postal Service Such Great Heights

12 M.I.A. Paper Planes

13 Green Day Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

14 Coldplay Viva La Vida

15 Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Maps

16 Foo Fighters The Pretender

17 Jet Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

18 Jimmy Eat World The Middle

19 Gorillaz Feel Good INC.

20 Muse Supermassive Black Hole

21 Killers Somebody Told Me

22 Blink 182 Adam’s Song

23 Green Day American Idiot

24 Queens of the Stone Age No One Knows

25 Death Cab for Cutie I Will Possess Your Heart

26 Gnarls Barkley Crazy

27 Kings of Leon Sex on Fire

28 30 Seconds To Mars The Kill

29 Snow Patrol Chasing Cars

30 Incubus Pardon Me

31 Foo Fighters Best Of You

32 Red Hot Chili Peppers Californication

33 MGMT Electric Feel

34 Killers All These Things That I’ve Done

35 Audioslave Like A Stone

36 Death Cab for Cutie Soul Meets Body

37 My Chemical Romance Welcome To The Black Parade

38 White Stripes Fell In The Love With A Girl

39 Metric Help! I’m Alive

40 Michael Andrews/Gary Jules Mad World

41 Linkin Park Numb

42 Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Heads Will Roll

43 Raconteurs Steady As She Goes

44 The Strokes Last Nite

45 Cage The Elephant Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked

46 Silversun Pickups Panic Switch

47 Arcade Fire Rebellion (lies)

48 Weezer Pork & Beans

49 Offspring You’re Gonna Go Far Kid

50 Green Day 21 Guns

51 Killers When You Were Young

52 Franz Ferdinand No You Girls

53 Muse Starlight

54 Shins Phantom Limb

55 Incubus I Wish You Were Here

56 Arctic Monkeys Fluorescent Adolescent

57 Paramore Misery Business

 

58 The Strokes 12:51

59 Rise Against Prayer of the Refugee

60 Green Day Wake Me Up When September Ends

61 Modest Mouse Ocean Breathes Salty

62 Foo Fighters Times Like These

63 Airborne Toxic Event Sometime Around Midnight

64 Weezer Beverly Hills

65 Nine Inch Nails The Hand That Feeds

66 Red Hot Chili Peppers Otherside

67 AFI Miss Murder

68 Blink 182 Feeling This

69 Radiohead There There

70 Presidents Of The USA Some Postman

71 U2 Vertigo

72 Wolfmother Woman

73 Foo Fighters All My Life

74 Bad Religion Sorrow (Acoustic)

75 Red Hot Chili Peppers Dani California

76 Green Day Minority

77 Pearl Jam The Fixer

78 Vampire Weekend A-Punk

79 Death Cab for Cutie Cath

80 Beck E-Pro

81 Plain White T’s Hey There Delilah

82 Linkin Park Faint

83 White Stripes Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground

84 Killers Human

85 Red Hot Chili Peppers By The Way

86 Audioslave Cochise

87 Interpol Slow Hands

88 Matisyahu King Without a Crown

89 Modest Mouse Dashboard

90 Green Day Holiday

91 Queens of the Stone Age Go With the Flow

92 Jimmy Eat World Sweetness

93 Tegan & Sara Walking With A Ghost

94 White Stripes Icky Thump

95 Muse Time Is Running Out

96 Modest Mouse Missed the Boat

97 She Wants Revenge Tear You Apart

98 Bravery Believe

99 Spoon The Underdog

100 Paramore Decode

101 Phoenix 1901

102 Red Hot Chili Peppers Can’t Stop

103 Angels & Airwaves The Adventure

104 Incubus Dig

105 Fleet Foxes White Winter Hymnal

106 Coldplay Speed of Sound

107 Hot Hot Heat Bandages

Yeah! Dance to it.

Yeah! Dance To It.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps (Lights Of Vegas Remix)

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance (Chew Fu H1n1 Club Mix)

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Heads Will Roll (Tommie Sunshine Remix)

Foreigner – Cold As Ice (Bastille Remix Shortened Edit)

La Roux – Bulletproof (Foamo Remix)

JELO and Adam K – Crazy Disco (Bastille Remix)

Miles Dyson – Satisfaction (Blende’s Clearly Superior Mix)

and many more…